Guest Blogger

Dear viewers of the web,

It is tonight that I announce the courtship between two most spectacular individuals. Hailing from England, land of all things old and tiny, is Sir Simon. Sir Simon is a rare man, one by which all other men should be measured. His polite and generous ways have touched the lives of people in nearly every corner of the globe.

In October of 2010, Sir Simon sailed the seven seas, eventually washing up on a magical land known as Santa Barbara, California. Santa Barbara was an eye-opening experience for the young Englishman, as he took part in many festivities unknown to the world of England. Snappa, Gaucho Ball, and other Olympic-type events that constantly had him in a state of bewilderment, unsure of how he had gotten so far in life without such stimulating activities.

Alas, one fine day, Sir Simon met a female friend at the Santa Barbara harbor, a most romantic destination for lovers and elderly (and elderly lovers) alike. There she stood, 5'5"tall – Lady Tiffany – wrapped carefully in a California coastguard-approved life vest. Casual and cool, alike many other California girls, but unlike any other girl he'd ever met. She won the heart of Sir Simon mere minutes after sailing off together. And as they sailed into the horizon, both took comfort in the idea that, for one brief and shimmering moment, the Yankees weren't the greatest thing to have ever happened to this world.

And the rest, as the say, is history.

But in Californian speak.. Simon, Tiffany is one of the smartest and nicest girls I know – and have ever known. She's a great friend, the best I could ask for, and deserves nothing but the best.

You lucky, lucky bastard.

Brandon